First thing's first: Happy New Year!
Phew, better late than never right? hehe
So it has been a few months since I posted anything here, and I hope everyone is well (Hi to my two subs lol, way to get me all excited!). Uni has long finished for the year and I am now on holidays, although I'm working for a few days every week. Actually my new job is in the city, and one thing I notice on my way to and from the office are all the hijabis in Sydney Masha'Allah. I bite back an 'Assalaamu alaikum' about 100 times a day. I mean, I'm sure a sister wouldn't mind a random girl greeting her like that- but I am too shy to do it :/
I have been consistently continuing my studies on Islam, but now I feel like my focus has shifted slightly. Previously, I was reading mainly about why people convert to Islam and other basic sorts of things like the importance of prayer, and why women wear hijab. I guess I approached it just like the way you would study for a project or an assignment- you're basically just gathering information, and although it might be of interest to you and can make you consider other possibilities, you probably wouldn't act upon the things you learned or make them a part of your life at all. I only see this now in retrospect because I realised that my attitude has imperceptibly changed. How to explain... I now feel like Islam is not only the right path for me, but that it's simply becoming part of me. I am thinking differently, feeling differently, seeing everything differently. Basically, I feel like a non-Muslim Muslim lol.
Maybe that is why I have an urge to greet every Muslimah I see, I guess I feel like she's my sister. It would also explain why clothes shopping became a whole lot more challenging. I went shopping with one of my best friends a few weeks ago, and...I was beguiled by maxi-skirts. Maxi-skirts, maxi-dresses, long floaty sleeves, long flowy tops... Completely beguiled. I had no eyes for other clothes, would not give them the time of day. Oh and we can't forget the other bewitching item: scarves. I swear there must have been a gravitational pull around every accessories section, battering the defences of a poor innocent non-Muslim Muslim...
And that would explain why I ordered a bunch of hijabs last week. Yep. I went on to pearl-daisy.com and fell in love with half of Amena's stock... I bought 6 hijabs, insha'Allah they will arrive next week (although I am having them delivered to a friends house- I'm not ready for my family to ask awkward questions about mysterious pink packages).
I'm so excited!! They haven't even arrived and I've filled my wishlist with 6 more ^^". And I need underscarves.. and pins... and wow I am just really excited. Funny though, if anyone had asked me 6 months ago if I'd consider wearing hijab I would have definitely said no way, Jose. And now I am saving my paychecks to buy scarves? I mean, I don't know how long it will take me to start wearing hijab in public after I take my shahada, but I guess I'm subconsciously preparing myself for when the time arrives. It is something that I want to do, for Allah's sake. And I would be proud to represent Islam.
What did I say at the end of my last post? I think I forgot my own advice :P
So I am making progress. I am feeling really content and not so confused at the moment. My main concerns are generally about my family and friends, and the many possible reactions they might have to me converting to Islam. But even these are becoming less panicked Alhamdulillah. I need to go about things the right way and I know my family will come around. *fingers crossed*
~Nisanur
